| Eat.Pray.Love............Forgive. |
[Oct. 8th, 2010|04:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
You know there's just something about human beings. We blame ourselves, and others (mostly) for the things that happen and didn't happen. Mostly to convince ourselves that we're not the root of the problem, other times just to pick a fight just cause there's nothing better to do and you do deserve to be blamed for well....forgetting to put the toilet seat back down after using 2years ago.
But really amidst all the avoiding and hiding and fighting, was there ever really a problem or was it just that 'something' that none of us could seem to let go. Most fights aggravate when issues of the past start becoming the main topic instead of what started it. So what is it? that 'something'? Could it be the wound from the breakup 5years ago that has not healed, could it be the deepen hole from the lost of our loved ones that hasn't been filled, could it be that guilt for not being there for your friend's funeral or that anger why you could never match your parent's expectations. So many times we beat ourselves up for not being able to fulfill the expectations of our family or our bosses and we start to blame ourselves for being incapable when, we probably already tried learning how to use the washing machine a thousand times or the fax machine a million and one time.
But for the love of God, we're not perfect! So, just let it go! It's time to heal, time to let go, time to forgive yourself. Nobody needs you to carry the world on your shoulders (well, unless you're The Almighty), so just live with it! You don't have to be who you're not, you don't have to be somebody else cause everyone's taken, you don't have to compare cause everyone's different, if you can't use the washing machine use your God given hands! Moving forward could never be as easy as saying it if we couldn't let the past be in the past. Hearts cannot be healed or filled if we continue to hurt and blame ourselves for the things we can't change anymore.
If you didn't love, love now. If you didn't give, give now. If you were never there, be there now.
A friend of mine once told me, "The only person in this world who can make you happy, is you.". So we may not be able to travel around the world for a year like Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love and find a beady-eye beard man calling you "groceries" in India teaching you to learn to forgive yourself ( i did cry at the part where he was talking about his son whom he did not ran into when he was drunk), we need to, you need to, i need to, forgive.Forgive for what i did and did not do. Accept what i have and have not. Be at peace with being me. That, is the life to contentment.
But then again, it's always easier said than done. |
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| burning. |
[Jul. 22nd, 2010|10:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mellow | ] |
there's this strong burning urge in my heart recently to do some things.
things that i could serve Him.
things that could seek peace.
things that are meaningful.
in my head. all that i see.
is peace.
happiness from peace.
what i can get from peace.
the stillness of a heart.
a soul.
and a smile of a stranger.
i see myself helping others. i see it through my heart.
in the past i dream myself to be someone great. someone ambitious. someone high above and powerful.
till recently i feel that's not what all life is about.
maybe coz i see how people could change.
how vulnerable life is.
how someone past leaving behind millions he took much to earn.
now it all amounts to nothing.
elders call us lack of a hardship.
wanting to succeed before trials.
but i say we just want to see the world before it disappears.
because we know that it slowly is.
we have lesser time to see this world than our elders did.
most of us don't even have the luxury to enjoy before our last breath.
simplicity is easy.
to earn simplicity is hard.
i want to be accountable to myself.
not anyone else.
not my boss.
nor my colleagues.
just me.
i don't owe anyone a living.
i owe Him. |
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| some things weigh more. |
[Jul. 10th, 2010|12:19 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
some things weigh more. and just like i have given up on many things for the things that matter most to me. i will do the same in any circumstances. some things when let go, new ones could take over. some....are just rather hard to be replaced. so if i have to go....then maybe i should. it's tiring on both sides and what's the point of that right?
i'm starting to feel it probably wasn't a good idea... i hope we could go back to how we were..
let's be honest.
because i don't like the vibes created.
it wasn't supposed to be this way.
it's not worth to lose what we had. right?
what we had is still important.
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| for the moment.... |
[May. 8th, 2010|02:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
i am stopping this blog for the moment because i am bored by it... yes i know it has stopped a long while but oh well...
see ya pretty soon i hope! :) |
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| The Letter B. |
[Mar. 14th, 2010|05:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
17-19th Feb 2010 | Bintan Escapade
i know this is kinda dated. but well. here goes! times of happiness.
Day 1
Day 2Day 3
28th Feb 2010 | Backstreet Boy's "This is Us" Concert
Suntec Convention Centre
bliss. |
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| It's a WRAP! |
[Mar. 4th, 2010|01:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleased | ] |
CUT!
yes. March 1st 2010 marks the official last day of my appointment with a farked up company. i won't name names as i never had since i started posting about my job. but a year is up and i'm done. i know many are asking so what now? i say we'll see. but for those who are thinking beyond that let me just say this... cut me some slack. i know a year aint that long. but a year in a farked up company is comparable to 10,000years. let's do the math. try working 16 hrs a day, 7days a week inc of weekends (of course) and public holidays. try getting calls, sms-es, emails at 7am on a sunday morning and say hallelujah after that. try eating lunch or dinner and be hit with a ridiculous request and be lost for appetite for the next 3days. try waking up in the middle of the night with fear that grabs you. worries that burdens you of the next day's work. try all of that with an average pay with no medical no bonuses. a bimbo as a boss. and a team of individuals who backstabs. and you probably won't last for 3mths. so yea if you don't know it. and i did. shut up. and fuck off.
so now.
have a nice day.
and i'll move along well. |
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| 24th Feb 2010. |
[Jan. 30th, 2010|03:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
25days.
In 25days. i'll be FINALLy saying bye to the place that gave me new insights.friends.pain.hate.and growth.
1yr is probably not that long.
but somehow it does.
especially what entails in it.
as much as i might miss the hectic-ness of work. being busy is quite a kick sometimes.
but i know i can't be there anymore.
too much lies.
that just disgusts.
till then.
i really hope that place turns for the better. |
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| when it's taken too far. |
[Dec. 5th, 2009|11:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
there's been too many tears around the office recently.
too many broken hearts that were once burning with passion.
too many broken dreams that had wings but are falling to pieces.
too many love that are turning into hate.
too many masks that are becoming real.
i witnessed an outcry in the office just the other day.
for a place that brings much entertainment to people out there.
it's way to depressing internally.
i don't know how could one's happiness and success be built upon others' misery and shame.
you've taken it too far.
you should learn to let go.
fallen faith.
57days. |
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| flash forward.flash back.flash forward. |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|01:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleased | ] |
62days.
it's 62days and counting. it really is almost there. but i'm having flash backs.
although you may slap me upon reading this.
but i do think that i will miss the hecticness, the 7days/12 hrs, the craziness.
i really think that i might.
but don't worry. i am still leaving.
i have 5 colleagues joining me too.
nice. |
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| MC vs Work. |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|10:43 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
MC.
i have not taken MC in 5months.
it's time.
not that i really care about the job right?
it's a super random entry.
69days.
yes.
we have "6" in front now. |
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